I know a widow woman
who bought a house in Dalkey,
found it wasn’t what she wanted,
sold it and bought a house in Harold’s Cross.
Would anyone with titter of wit
sell a house in Dalkey
and go to live in Harold’s Cross?
She was lonely living on her own
so she took in a lodger,
(that’s what you do with lodgers,
you ‘take them in’),
a foreman on a building site
up the road.
All was well until she woke one night
To find the lodger beside her in bed.
She told him to leave the bed immediately.
At breakfast she asked for his latchkey
and told him to pack his bags and go.
She had turned down a generous offer
for a gîte she had in France.
Then the crash.
Now she can’t sell it for half the price.
A long standing widow
She buried her husband in the wrong grave
over which she fell out with her sister-in-law
who later that year won the lottery.
She was however good at picking
the ripest firmest tomatoes in the supermarket.

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